You may already know I have a pretty “colorful” backstory splattered with bits of alcoholism, food addiction, domestic violence and some other things I experienced while “off the beaten path”…
But here’s some real talk…even in my darkest moments….like when I was living in a basement post-divorce…a raging alcoholic, unable to feed myself…feeling like a pretty big disappointment to everyone in my life…I still had moments of clarity.
Moments that seemed to take me up above my current situation and give me perspective that that wasn’t me.
I had more to give.
I had surrendered already…but I had surrendered to something that wanted to take me down.
And how easy it was to surrender to that…is was so slow, so fun at first….it was “normal”…until it wasn’t.
Until it was slowly killing me.
So I took my control back. I picked myself up (with the help of my now hubby, Mike).
Mike spoke life over things I couldn’t see in myself yet. (there’s an amazing story in this, I tell in the video above)
Slowly, I began to believe in myself, my skills, my intuition, and my God again…
Now, you may think that’s where my life changed, but we’re not there yet :)….
Are you familiar with the concept of the pendulum swinging?
You go from one extreme to the other…
That’s what happened.
I went from no control to ALL OF THE CONTROL.
I needed to pick out and plan everything. And in doing that, I suffocated myself, my relationships, and quite frankly everything around me.
I was hard nosed and had incredibly high expectations of people around me, and if they didn’t live up to what I needed, I kicked them out of my life immediately in the interest of self preservation.
Until one day, I was tapped…
And by tapped, I mean that Divine shoulder tap you get from time to time…that sometimes you listen to, and sometimes you don’t even realize just happened.
I knew it happened. I was experiencing a serious tap.
I went in my room, dropped to my knees…and surrendered everything….again. But this time, I surrendered it to God’s Will.
My business, my relationships, my entire life.
I surrendered the need to know what was coming next…
I surrendered the need to control how everything went….
I surrendered all of my anxiety around making things work out perfectly…
And here’s what happened.
I stepped into a world I didn’t ever know existed.
A world of service to others.
A world I was no longer the center of.
An act of defiance in the face of a self centered culture.
I now live in daily surrender to my God and His Will.
I work from my heart and my soul.
I’m led by Divine Footsteps…to people in need.
You guys, all of this to say…surrendering to God is the very moment my entire world changed.
I’ve never felt better in my life.
I am at Peace.
I am always taken care of.
And I get to do God’s Will every single day…essentially for a living.
I’m writing this to the woman that feels she needs to have everything figured out…
To the woman that doesn’t want to keep doing life the way she has been for so long…
And to the woman that KNOWS in her SOUL there is something more for her…a way for her to serve that isn’t totally clear yet…
He has you in His hand.
Yes, it’s scary…but until you do it, how can the miracles happen? Would they even be cataloged as miracles if “you did them”?
Just a thought.
Love you so much, have the best day!
PS, if you feel like you’re ready for more, I’m opening a FB Group soon for people just like us…email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to get the link 🙂